Shattered

Have you ever had an image in your mind of someone and then that image is changed for you in an instance? Like this time of year lots of little boys and girls believe in Santa and all to often when they least expect it they find out the big man in the red suit isn't real and that their parents have bought all of those toys all along.

I am still reading Mary, A Flesh - and - Blood Biography of the The Virgin Mother by Lesley Hazleton. As I have stated in previous post most of this book is taken from Ms. Hazleton's opinion, in no way does she know the complete truth about Mary's life, but she has done lots of research on the time period that Mary lived. She even lived in Jerusalem for 13 years. Now I am not calling her an expert by any means but obviously if this is a very talented author than she did a lot of research and feels confident enough to dispel some myths and even lay a little more ground work on Mary's background before, during and even after Jesus time on the earth.

(If you don't want your image of Mary to be changed even a little please I would advise you not to read on.)

I titled this "Shattered" because in Part Two: Her Womb, the author goes on to explain just how Mary became pregnant. Of course we have all heard the story of the virgin birth and she goes on to explain that even today Middle Eastern culture does not classify how or if a woman's hymen is "disturb" to be her virginity. Some women if due to rape or obviously unprotected sex and they had never been married, would still be considered a virgin. The word really meant nothing and the true status of Mary's virginity could obviously been lost in translation as the Bible was translated hundreds of time before it became the official format that we have today.

Now I am not saying that Mary was out there messing around willy-nilly, but bear with me, what if something "happened" to Mary and God saw favor with her and her unborn child. That is what I mean by shattered. Up to this point I was rather enjoying this book, but with Ms. Hazleton pointing out this very fact that women were really looked up on not much higher than a dog in the lineage of status and if she was all alone at one point she could have been mistreated. Which thus far brings up another point she still said yes, when even back then there were any number of ways to terminate a pregnancy and it is believed that happened quite regularly, even more so than by today's standards.

Lesley does try to paint even another scenario that during times of famine and great debt daughters would be sold or given to their local temples or who ever the family might be indebted to and as we have all seen recently in the news a young girl can be easily persuaded into almost anything if they believe the person has the power and authority over them.

But also there is the third option of what about Joseph, what if he truly is the biological father and it is a case similar to Mary's cousin Elizabeth and her husband was struck mute when he questioned God's intentions for Elizabeth being pregnant at such an age and by similar I mean that Gabriel visited with Joseph before Mary actually became pregnant and to lay out the ground work as to how Jesus would be raised and always trust his dreams for his family; i.e. move to Egypt because of Herod.

I personally like to believe the case for Joseph if I had to choose but my heart also wants to have faith that God and Mary were the only true parents. But as Ms. Hazleton states at the end of Part Two: Her Womb:
Without Joseph, nothing would be different. Without Maryam, everything would. It was Maryam who chose her son, Maryam who gave birth to him, Maryam who nursed him and raised him and taught him all she new. Maryam, be-ezrat ha-shem, (with God's Help).

Age Is Just A Number, Right?

As I continue to read the book Mary, A Flesh and Blood Biography of the Virgin Mother, by Lesley Hazleton, there is a passage that talks about her age, which as we all know is 13. We are always reminded of that when we hear or even think about the Nativity Scene. When most of us think about the age of thirteen we remember thinking we are no longer children we are finally teenagers and that maybe the adults will start taking us a little more seriously and now days it means that we transition from elementary school to either middle school or junior high, where we get to be cool and have lockers, maybe and we don't have to sit in the same class all the time because we now move around from class to class. I remember that was about the time if you hadn't had it yet the dreaded "talk" was about to happen either between you and your parents or the school was going to tell you about S-E-X. But in Mary's time they didn't keep track of what number your age was for your maturity, your maturity was kept track of by what you could physically and possibly mentally do; i.e. herd livestock, plow a field, harvest crops, carry water from the well. Once you started being able to do those things then society started telling you that you were old enough to do other things like get married and start a family of your own, which is what happened to Mary.

Lesley Hazleton, the author, points out that really most people are appalled by the fact that Mary was 13, because in our western or modern day way of thinking she is still kind of a kid, but really back then and even in some of today's cultures once you reach the age of menstruation you are an adult and it is time to get married, and really even by that age given such a close knitness of the families most girls have helped take care of younger siblings and cousins, so by that age they pretty much knew it all or if they had the attitude that most of us had at that age, thought we knew it all. But also that age was almost considered middle age, due to the medical and living conditions most people wouldn't really live much past their 20s if they even made it that far. 1 stillborn per 5 births, 1 in 10 lived to see their first year, a third of all children even lived to see 5 and less than half saw adolescents. Then once you reached the childbearing ages it was almost as bad 1 out of 3 mothers died during labor or shortly there after. And even then if they lived there was the risk of infection that could possibly keep them from bearing any more. Here is where I do kind of disagree with Ms. Hazleton a bit, she believes that Mary probably did not have the four brothers and an unstated number of sisters that are mentioned in Matthew 12:46-47 because that was really unheard of; that most of those "siblings" were probably 1st cousins because everybody raised everybody else's children, but I feel that God rewarded Mary for raising his son that he blessed her with as many children as she could bear after all one of his command was "to be fruitful and multiply."

But anyways because life was so short 13 was not really that young after all. Given the time frame at 13 you could be a mother, by your mid to late twenties, you were a grandmother, in your forties a great-grandmother, and if you lived to be in your late-50s maybe a great-great-grandmother, you truly were a matriarch of your family, every one would be coming to you for your blessing and guidance. Heck a favorite toast that is still said today is "to hundred and twenty", of course no one really lives to be that long but to live to be 100 is one thing but to truly have been blessed and multiplied you would go the extra 20 to see maybe 5 to 6 generations.

As I reach another milestone this next year (I turn 30) I have sat and pondered all that I have seen and even done in my short time. Age doesn't really bother me sometimes I have to remind myself what age I really am by doing the math with the calendar if you know what I mean. But sometimes thinking about what I have maybe missed out on does. By this age I had imagined myself and even of course Daniel too, cause his birthday is before mine depending on when you are reading this it is this coming Sunday, December 27, but I naturally thought I would have my family life settled: 2 maybe 3 kids, a nice house that was always full of laughter, love, friends and family but as always happens life gets in the way and I probably didn't always have the willingness in my heart to go the way God had laid out for me, but thank goodness for modern medicine that I have the next 30+ years to see where I went wrong and get back to where I need to be.

So here is to hundred and twenty!!!

Mary, Mother of Jesus

The book is fiction. But the author, Lesley Hazelton, has painstakingly tried to find out as much truth about Mary, or Maryam, as can be found. Not a lot is written about Mary after Acts 1:14, when she was in the upper room with the disciples. Of course there are the written accounts in the Gospels and about Jesus’ conception and birth and even how he was raised, but really beyond all of that we don’t know much more about Mary’s life before and after Jesus. Lesley had always pondered what became of Mary and really after a night of discussion at Titus 2 I had some questions too. So on one of my recent trips to the library I did a little browsing and stumbled upon Mary, A Flesh-and-Blood Biography of The Virgin Mother.

In the Introduction Lesley explains why she will be calling her Maryam, it is the more accurate name and spelling. Also the author explains how she has put some of her story together. Obviously since there really isn’t much recorded history written down to do a thorough biography, but Lesley was able to do a lot of research about the time frame that Maryam would have been a live and can kind of piece together what life would have been like during her time on this earth. And also Lesley explains why she wanted to right this book.

The first thing that jumped out at me was in the first pages of the first chapter; actually it was more accurately within the first few paragraphs:
The air is fresh outside. A coating of dew makes everything sparkles in the half-light. She pauses a moment to breathe deep, automatically checking the sky. The direction of the wind, the color of the sunrise, mist down in the valley or clouds on the horizon – any or all of these will determine which way she takes the herd. The decision is hers. (emphasis mine).
The paragraph goes on to talk about the animals and describes the bumps, bruises, and scratches that come along with caring for these animals, but the phrase I really like was “The decision is hers” Like everything else the decision was always hers, yes granted God could have picked another lowly servant girl to give birth to Jesus but he didn’t he chose Mary and instead of telling her that he had impregnated her with his child the scripture leads you to believe in Luke 1:35-37 that Gabriel came down and told Maryam God’s plan and it wasn’t until she said "I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said," that the conception actually took place. Now I am of the mindset that if Maryam had argued or asked that she not be the one to handle this burden than God would have moved on or maybe given her some more time because God knew what would become of Maryam’s child and the heartbreak that she would endure. THANK GOODNESS she did decide for as we all know the rest is history.

I am going to obviously going to continue reading this book and as I have new revelations I will share as much or as little as I can.

I did it!!

Ok so I did the hostess thing for LifeChoices today. My original schedule was going to be from 11:45 to 4:00, but Kim had a lot request for the 11:45 to 2 shift that I ended up only doing the 1:45 to 4:00, which was fine because I am not sure I could have done an extra 2 hours. I don't know if it was the weather (which was nice), or the price of the tickets (which was kind of high), or people were just not ready to be in the Christmas spirit ( I don't blame them). But we didn't have that many visitors during my shift, at my best guess which I wish I would have thought to keep better tabs but I doubt we even had 50 people walk thru, but hey I could be wrong, I really hope I am.

I think my theme was Miracle on 34th Street cause my house had Santas everywhere. I stood in Master bedroom which also had a master bath. Not too much to decorate there, but it looked nice. The comment I got the most on was about the Santa in the bathroom who was in his boxers cause he was getting dressed, if I could find it I would buy it. I guess I should have asked someone where they got it but I didn't think about it.

Also in the front foyer area there was a big picture of Santa that is very similar to the one I have been looking for. So if anybody sees a Santa facial portrait where he is winking and holding his index finger up to his mouth kind of like saying, "Shh" PLEASE let me know where cause I want it so bad. Kirkland's came out with the print several years ago and has stopped carrying it and no one can tell me where to find it or even who the artist might have been.

But all in all it wasn't a bad experience and one I will more than likely do again.

Wishing

I just posted on my FB profile something about not wishing for what someone else has because they may not want it.

Basically what I mean by that is just because something looks good on the outside doesn't always mean it really is.

This past weekend almost everybody went out and had their family fun and/or was really busy all weekend, well I say "almost" everybody because some of us were stuck at home with nothing to do.

Sometimes it is by our own choosing to be alone, but sometimes it's not.

Another example I can think of is that a dear friend of mine has chosen to be a stay at home mom, while I commend her for that, because Lord, knows I would go insane, but she mentioned that she needed some alone time that she hardly ever gets, well trust me I have plenty to spare.

But also along those same lines of wanting what's on the other side of the fence, I have some friends who apparently went thru a rough patch when they were first married because they wanted to hang out with friends instead of their spouse, well I sometime wish I had other people to hang out with instead of my spouse.

Now don't get me wrong I love spending time with my husband, but a girl needs other girls sometimes. Yeah I have a lovely meeting that I attend with my church ladies once a month, but this is different I am talking about, "hey let's go get dinner and really talk" or even just hang out for the day. There is something about those two different environments even if it is with the same people, but the conversations can be different yet the same it all depends on dialogue and being really comfortable.


Really I am not looking for pity, by all means that makes me so mad when that happens. The husband tries to give it or thinks that I am looking for an answer when really I am just looking for some where to vent.

So maybe the next time you think you want something i.e. piece and quiet, companionship, new shoes, whatever it might be find someone who has those things and have a heart to heart and you might be surprised that you don't want it after all.

Comfort Zone and Holiday Home Tours

I am sooooo stepping out of my comfort zone. Not sure why but I have always been kind of a shy person almost painfully shy, really some people thing I am just being stubborn but hey it has kept me out of trouble up to this point so I don't think it is all that bad.

But anyways....

A couple of weeks ago I was feeling kind of depressed, call it hormones or boredom not really sure which, but I was looking down the barrel of a long 6 months with having lots and lots of weekends to myself. (Daniel started a new work schedule and works Friday thru Monday 11 am to 9:30 pm) It was my first true weekend with nothing to do and I get bored very easily. Yeah sure I could clean house but that really doesn't sound like fun when you are the only person who is going to look at it. So after a weekend of being aggravated and discouraged cause I don't really have a lot of friends that I can call and say "Hey let's do something"

(OK pretty much I don't have any, but that is another blog that I might share some other time)

I received an email about helping out with the LifeChoices Holiday Homes Tour. My first reaction was to say no and I had lots of reasons:
1. I don't know anybody and don't want to get stuck by myself
2. Gas
3. Lazy
4. Not exactly my cup of tea.
And I am sure if I sat long enough would come up with more.

But then just as I was about to move on to the next email, the little voice in my head said "Weren't you just complaining about not having anybody to do stuff with and not really having anything to do anyways"

Sooooo next thing I knew I was hitting reply and signing up for not just one 2 hour shift but TWO 2 hours shifts. Oh I know that there will be people I know working along side of me but still it almost took both hands to get me to hit that reply button.

So stay tuned cause I will let you know how this all turns out and if you want to witness it for yourself I am selling tickets, well really the tickets are for you to tour 4 homes that will be decorated for the holidays, but still I am sure it will be well worth the price of admission to come see me out of my element, dare I say worth $20.

Yes for $20 you can get a ticket to tour 4 homes that have 4 different themes. There is "Frosty the Snowman", "It's a Wonderful Life", "A Christmas Carol" and "Miracle of 34th Street"(I will be at that one)

The tours are taking place Saturday, November 21st from 10AM-4PM and Sunday, November 22nd from 1-5PM.

Funny Frenchie Moment

My dog Frenchie is hilarious and driving me a little crazy right now, because she is trying to get out of my make-shift toybox for my nieces and nephew a talking Elmo doll. Elmo sings his ABCs when you squeeze his belly, the kids love him and even try to sing a long. But Frenchie does not like Elmo. I am not exactly positive what she is trying to do because all I hear is Elmo's voice singing from the front room, so get up and check to make sure Frenchie doesn't have Elmo pulled out and is tearing him up, which she doesn't but she is barking because he is talking to and she doesn't understand how or why and really neither do I because this is all I see:



FB Note: If you can't see the photo go to my blog at http://terracrihfield.blogspot.com/

But anyways...So either Frenchie is pulling so hard on Elmo that is crying out for help the only way that he can with the ABCs or Frenchie is jumping in the basket and then jumping out when she knows I am coming and try to look innocent, you be the judge.

Unmotivated Again!!

Ok so I started a blog at the first of the year that was going to hopefully keep track of me reading the bible in year, Welllll that didn't happen. I have to admit I think I did make it farther in the Old Testament than when I normally do on this little task but I fell short and not just by a little bit either. But I digress, I have thought long and hard why it is that I can't seem to ever get this goal accomplished and it simply is that I get distracted and unmotivated. There I said it I get distracted, actually I knew that but I thought maybe I should say it out loud. But also in my thinking I also realized I wasn't really learning anything either.

I pretty much know every bible story in the good book, may not know exactly where they are but I can pretty much tell you the stories. And I am not the type of person to read a book or even watch a movie more than once. So if I am not learning something new I get distracted and unmotivated and basically quit. This is something I obviously need to work on and I am going to try, honestly.

But if you have any good ideas as to go about doing that please let me know. I love to read and could easily do it for a living if I was given the option, but when it comes the biggest selling book of all time I just can't quite get it done. So help a girl out if ya can, thanks!!!

Changing words

Yesterday morning I was enjoying our praise & worship service and I had a sort of Freudian slip I guess you can say or was it the Holy Spirit? You make the call. I am not sure what the title of the song is but the words are as follows:

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Jesus is Lord
Lord of all my Heart

He is the Way
He is the Truth
He is the Life

I am singing the song with my eyes closed and hands raised when it came to the final line "He is the Life" I inadvertently said "He is my Life" and when I said that I believe my spirit leaped for joy within me. My heart started racing and even though I didn't really try all that hard I kept singing that line with "my" instead of "the", I felt this rush come over me that I needed others to sing it that way as well, but I also didn't want to disturb the service. As I was looking around everybody was lost in the moment so I kept it to myself and decided to tell Jock, our song leader, after church. Which I did and as I was telling it to him I saw him putting it together in his head and he liked it as well.

There is a little more to the story as well. As I was enjoying the message our pastor preached which was good as well, the Holy Spirit kept playing the song in my head and I believe also told me why the words were changed when I sang the song. Now I am not a mother, but I have been around a few and I am pretty sure most have said this at one time or another. That as soon as they held their child or children in their arms for the first time that child had their heart and became their life at the same time. And I believe that to have a true and meaningful life with Christ that has to happen to you as well. If you are going to give your heart over to him then you also have to give him your life too, the items are interlocked and you can't have one without the other. Like I said I am not a mother so I can't really speak from experience but when I decided to date and marry I couldn't exactly just be there, in order for my marriage and pretty much every marriage to work you have to put your heart and life into it. Yeah I can tell Daniel I love him but if I don't really mean it then I am not just cheating myself I am cheating him as well. And yeah I can go thru the motions of everyday life such as making dinner or laundry or even just watching TV but if I don't try and make the most of it then what is the point of even bothering and I will admit that I even get that attitude sometimes. But when I give my husband and our relationship all of myself, watch-out things start happening and I am not just talking in the physical sense either, even though that is much better too. hahaha

So in order for things to start happening in my life I need to start giving all of my heart to God and he will take care of the rest.

What's in a name?

I may just have to see this movie because of it's title

http://www.battleforterra.com

And for a list and preview of other movies coming out this spring check-out this article on msnbc.com.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29517276

Just thought I would pass along a reminder that "Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, SPRING IS ON IT'S WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I found this growing in my flower bed the other day along with some other plants but this is the only one that looks like it could actually bloom in the next week or so.

Blog Snooping

I was checking out some other blogs and came across this quiz that was posted on http://chrysalisdreams.blogspot.com/ so I took the quiz and this is what I found out. Kind of cool.

You’re St. Jerome! You’re a passionate Christian, fiercely devoted to Jesus Christ and his Church. You are willing to labor long hours in the Lord’s vineyard, and you have little patience with those who are less willing or able to work as you do. Your passions often carry you into temptation zones of wrath, lust, and pride. Find out which Church Father you are at The Way of the Fathers!

V-Day

Well it's Valentine's Day. Ya know a part of me says it no big deal but then another part of me says I want to be romanced. Send me to a spa, send me to a nice romantic hotel and lavish me with kisses and other stuff. But hey I am practical and Daniel has to work so instead of him spending money we don't have I will let him make me money that we need.

Love you, Daniel!!

Cold

I have cold and I really don't like it.

I know most if not all people don't like colds but I really don't like them, cause for some reason I get in a real cranky mood and have a very short fuse when it come to patience. But I have learned that when I am this way I just try to stay away from people cause really its amazing how stupid and irritating people are when I have a cold. hahaha

I am sure that people are acting the same as they would any normal time but man I can't seem to see it that way. So just to keep everybody happy I try to stay to myself. Except for Sundays when I go to church because I know that is what satan is wanting me to do but I will not let him when that battle no matter what the cost.

Ice. Ice, No Baby

Here is another fine ice storm and I got no hubby to snuggle up to.

With Daniel working in Arkansas he got stuck down there because they shut down the major highway that would bring him home.

Oh well thankfully we had Matt and Stacy living down there and he was able to stay with them.

THANKS!!!!

Global Warming, sign me up.

Holy Cow if this is what Global Warming is all about sign me up. Here it is January 22 and it was in mid-60s today!!!! But being that I live in Missouri it will be in the 40s tomorrow, so it was definitely fun while it lasted. I tell you what if you ask me it should only get cold and snow between Thanksgiving and Christmas just enough to put you in the Christmas spirit (not sure how Austrailians celebrate Christmas in shorts and at the beach) and then starting the first week of January it should gradually start getting warmer.

I am sure there is a perfectly good reason for the temperature changes but I don't like it one bit.

Brrr

Let me just say it is really cold outside and i don't like it one bit.

But thankfully I have a nice woodstove that keeps it nice and toasty.

Pack Rat

My grandmother recently moved out of her home that she had lived in since 1961. This house was the only home my dad remembers living in, mostly because he was around 2 so he doesn't have much memory of anything else. But any way this house has lived thru 5 fires and actually there might have been more because it was only recently did we find out about one of them. The last fire required a remodel of the house that included adding on an additional bedroom and bathroom and rotateing the stairs to face the opposite direction.

But anyways, when Grandma moved out she moved in to a small apartment in town to be closer to my aunt for health reasons. She natuarally did not have room for all of the stuff that she had accumulated over the past 48 years and actually about a fourth of it was from her second husband Pete, who she was married to for about 10 years (man it doesn't seem that long). So my family has been dividing up her belongings and trust me there are a lot because she did not and still does not seem to want to throw anything away.

Along with my dad he has a sister who has 3 kids and then there is my brother so technically we are dividing the contents of the house 7 ways, you would think it would be easy but no unfortunately some of us want the same things and for different reasons. We think one of my cousins wants some items for monetary reasons, which is fine to me is kind of sad because they did not spend as much time with my grandparents as my brother did. But hey they can have their money I will keep my memories. Fortunatley for right now none of the stuff that I have requested no one has argued against me receiving it but I am also the type of person I wouldn't have put up much of a fight cause I still have the memory that they will never have.

What did I receive you are asking well let me tell you. I have all of the everyday dishes that they used. Yes they may have bought them right before I was born but still I remember eating every meal out off them and then going and digging the ice cream out of the deep freeze and eating ice cream with RC cola out of the bowls. It didn't matter what the temp was outside we always had ice cream for dessert, oh unless my grandpa had made a cherry pie and that was a real treat for a girl like me cause he generally only made them for holidays. Lets see what else do I have, Oh yeah I have the juice glasses, which apparently they were just little jam jars that grandma cleaned and kept after the jam was gone but I alway thought they were cute and held just the right amount of juice or milk for breakfast. I am told that once my grandmother is done with her kitchen table that I will recieve it too and to be honest with you the first time that I finally am able to put the table, dishes, and glasses together for the first time I am sure that I will not have dry eye. Because I am already planning on having my parents and my brother along with his family to sit with me for that first meal and I know the memories will flow and so will some tears.

Now I do have a favor to ask anybody who is reading this. Some of the plates in my set have been broken and not replaced and actually there is a huge list of different items that my grandmother was not able to obtain to make a full set so I have posted a picture and it anybody sees anything that matches please let me know cause I would like to continue to expand the collection. And if you feel like buying me some I did find a website that still sells the collection http://pfaltzgraff.com/index.asp?from=header just type in keyword Yorktowne because that is the name of the design.

Happy-Clutter Free New Year!!! Part 2

I almost forgot that I had posted before pictures of my house so now I will post the after. You can almost tell which room was the last room because it does look good but everything from all of the other rooms ended up there. And yes if you count the rooms I did leave a room out. My bathroom did get cleaned but it is so small that you really can't tell.

I want to thank everyone who pertook in this event. Me, Myself and I thank you so so much, you really do deserve to go back to work so you don't have to work so hard.

Oh yeah Thank you Daniel the living rooms and office look great!!!!

Resolutions

So it is Jan 3rd and I am talking about resolutions for this new year.

Well I have resolved not to make any, lol. Oh I know lots of people have done that. But I mean it this year I am not planning on moving to a bigger house nor am I planning on expanding my family. I am not going to try and lose weight.

I am going to try and live in the moment. So I guess if a resolution has to be made then I resolve to take time to enjoy the people and places and things around me more. Not to worry about what I think I want or need in the future.

Of course I will think try to think "if I do this will it really come back and bite me in the butt later"

I have spent so much time and energy worring about things that I can't control when I could use that toward things I can control.

So here is to 2009 may it end better than 2008.